The Fat Chick Diet Blog

Hi! My name is Dominique…. and I’m Fat.

O.K. if you don’t know the drill, this is where you come in and say something to the effect of:

Hi Dominique! —Hello Dominique! —Whaaaddduup? —How you doin?

Then, I smile and wonder why the hell I came to a Fatties Anonymous meeting. I mean, I’m not fat…. AM I??? And I’ll feel my ego imploding. I’ll hyper-ventilate because I can’t believe I just admitted I’m FAT!

No, wait. I admitted I’m fat, and not just to myself (which is kind of O.K. because in the back of my mind I KNEW I was fat), but I admitted I’m fat to total strangers. I’m admitting I’m fat to people who walk past me as I try to pull my shirt away from my stomach, as if having a stretched out piece of fabric hanging limply from my body would hide the fact that I am fat. I’m admitting I’m fat to my classmates who watch me squeeze myself into a school desk, and sure I fit in the desk, but just barely. I’m tucked in so closely that when I go to leave, I’ll have a red line across the part of my belly that spent an hour and 15 minutes rubbing up against the desk. It’ll hurt. I’ll feel bad about myself for a little bit, but then when I’m hungry again. I’ll forget all about the shirts I’ve stretched out (beyond repair) just so that the fabric doesn’t accentuate my protruding belly. I’ll forget about the red line (that is still there) the desk caused.

Wait. The red line that I  caused. I caused it by not watching what I eat, by being too lazy to work out (OR even to park further away from the store. Instead I’ll wait 5 minutes for that lady to pack her groceries in the car, just so that I can get the closest parking spot to the grocery store). And when I look in the mirror and ask what happened to my svelte, athletic body, I’ll make up excuses.

I don’t have time to exercise (I’m busy with college, afterall!).

Healthy food is so much MORE expensive than this huge can of Chef-Boyardee Ravioli.

I have Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome, it’s making me fat.

My family genetics predisposes that I be fat.

And back at Fatties Anonymous, I’ll say: ”It’s been 1 day since I ate fried foods.”

You: Congrats! —Good Job!— Way to go! — Keep Going!

For a brief moment, I will feel good about myself, because you are here to give me support and encouragement. I will feel part of a group. I won’t be alone. But once I get home, you won’t be looking over my shoulder. I won’t feel accountable to you, because you’re not here. I’ll eat things I know I shouldn’t, and in my mind I’ll say:

I’ll just eat this today, and tomorrow I’ll start over. Tomorrow I’ll diet. Tomorrow I will start to feel better about myself and I’ll know I’m doing something good for myself.

And tomorrow never comes, because everyday is a today. That changes TODAY, today I’ll eat healthy. Today I’ll exercise.